I think I've posted a little about my friend Danise who has been having some serious health problems since being rear-ended over two years ago. She has been getting worse instead of better, with one thing after another going wrong. From constant excruciating pain, to numbness, weight loss which was later determined to be caused by Celiac's disease--the disease, which runs in her family, was triggered by the stress she's been under--to the most recent issue, loss of vision.
She went to a neuro-opthalmologist and he did brain surgery last week to try to get her brain and eyes to communicate more effectively. They knew it was going to be a difficult surgery, but didn't know how long her recovery was going to be. I have been calling her every day and leaving her messages because I knew she couldn't call or talk to me yet. Today, she called me and I was finally able to talk to her. She said the phone happened to be right next to her, and just called the last person who called, and it happened to be me, luckily. What does she tell me? Things are getting worse still. She said it didn't go as planned (shocker), she's having trouble talking (her hubby tells her she makes no sense, gibberish half the time, when she thinks she's making sense she's not), she is still having trouble seeing, and she's been walking into things because she doesn't see what's really there.
It is a giant mess. I am tired of the bad news, I want my friend back to normal. I want her to be healthy and happy and not in pain. I want her to be able to see her kids grow up. I am so frustrated. I keep hoping and hoping, that something--anything--will finally go right, but no. Everything just keeps getting worse and worse. It is so ridiculous. She is so discouraged and so depressed, (which is understandable) and I do what I can to be strong and support her, but I'm hurting too because I can't make her better.
The other thing that's going on is with my mom. Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer a while back (I can't remember how long ago) and now it's in her bones. Mom said they're just "maintaining". So I guess it means things are very bad and they are essentially trying to keep her alive as long as possible. Mom and I went to her oldest daughter's wedding this weekend. I haven't seen her in so long, but she looked pretty good. I think my mom's worried that she'll die soon. It's scary. My mom is such an introvert and has a very small group of friends (kind of like me). So here's my mom, with her best friend trying to live, and mine trying to live well, and it all just sucks.
I had to do this post for myself. I just needed to see it all in writing and have a little personal therapy session. I really miss Danise (the healthy one).
Go right now (or as soon as possible) and call your best friend and tell her (or him) that you love her (or him) because you might need her (or him) someday or vice versa. I never knew that I would spend so many years of my friendship being Danise's support system, and I'm not sorry--I just wish I didn't have to because I wish she was healthy. I miss talking to her about other things besides whether or not she's in pain today, or what the latest news from the doctor is, or what's going wrong now. I just want to be able to talk to her about normal stuff without this bad, stupid crap hanging over us all the time.
3 comments:
I had a friend whose mother had breast cancer. I sent her a card with the following Bible verse: Psalm 116:1 "I love the Lord because he had heard my voice and my supplications (prayers).
When we do not understand something, we need to just pray. God has everything turn out for a specific reason even if we do not understand.
By the way, my friend's mother conquered her breast cancer and that will always stay etched in my mind.
Just hang in there, and do not be discouraged. All things are possible through Christ.
I so hope that somehow things take a turn for the better for your friend. I can't even imagine how she must feel dealing with that day in and day out. I'm so sorry, and for your mom's dear friend as well.
Thank you both very much for your kind words and for caring. I talked to Danise today for quite a while, and she sounds pretty normal to me, but as soon as we got off the phone, she was going to bed. She's not really in the mood for much company, but I was glad she wanted to talk for a bit. I think it's like someone said, it takes a long time to heal from this kind of surgery, so hopefully over time she will get better. But I appreciate your comments very, very much.
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