No, no, it's not me. It's someone dear to me but I can't tell you who it is yet. Sorry! But finding out she's pregnant with her first baby has made me start thinking about baby advice. Yes, the stuff everyone loves to give and no one really wants to hear after the first 1,000 people have offered theirs. Since I try really hard not to do that to people, and to only offer advice when asked, but I still feel the burning desire to share what I've learned, I figured I'd do a little post on some of the best stuff I've learned.
1. You can't hold your baby too much, but it's also okay to put her down. Really. I held Karina probably 20 hours a day until I started going crazy, but I hated putting her down. I knew it was okay to hold her a lot (you're basically holding them 24/7 when they're in your body, so even if you hold them the whole time you're awake, you've still reduced how much you're holding them) but I didn't know how it was okay to put her down. With Elena, I've learned. I have to put her down if I want to get anything done. Or if Karina needs to potty, spills her drink, makes any kind of mess, wants to "help" me with something, or wants to play. If I want to do any of these things, I have to put her down. I hold her a lot less than I held Karina. But she's okay. And I am, too.
2. There is so much baby gear out there, it's easy to be overwhelmed. When shopping for this stuff, think about a couple of things. What is it for? How long will it be used? Is it something I want to use? And consider that your baby may not like it. Some babies love swings and others hate them. You might be plopping down a couple hundred dollars on something that never gets used. Consider consignment shops if you're worried about this. I have a Boppy pillow, something I thought I would use all the time. I almost never use it. However, many moms use theirs a lot. I just didn't. So you have to think about you, not just all these other moms.
3. Babies cry because they want something. They are hungry, dirty, wet, cold, hot, cranky, in pain, tired, under or overstimulated, and pretty much everything else they can't put into words. When the baby cries uncontrollably, it's okay if you can't figure out what's wrong every time. Holding your baby lets her know that you are always going to be there to comfort her. However, every human mother has her limit. When you reach it, put your baby down in a safe place, like the crib, and go take a break. You are human. No one expects you to be able to withstand that kind of crying forever. It is so hard, because you want to help your baby and you can't, and nothing works, so there's the additional stress of not being able to 'fix' it on top of the crying itself. Take a break.
4. Take too many pictures. You will never be sorry or regret it. You will, however, be sorry if you don't take enough. And get infant pictures done, please. Take the baby somewhere if you don't do the (expensive) hospital ones. But do it. You won't be sorry later. (Like I am for not doing them with Karina. Arg...)
5. Don't freak out over your body. It's going to be different. Oh yeah, way different. That's okay. Your body just did something amazing. It manufactured a whole new human person and for many of you, pushed that (rather large, let's face it) human person out into the world. Yeah, you did that. And it took almost a year for your body to change to accommodate that person, it's not going back to its old self overnight. Or in a month. Don't pay any attention to those celebrities. And don't be hard on yourself. It takes time.
So there you go. A bunch of advice from some random lady who thinks she knows everything. No, I don't really know everything. These are just a few things I learned for myself, and if they help someone else out, great! If not, that's okay too. Because the bottom line is, every new mom is going to figure things out for herself, no matter how many people offer her advice, or how many articles or blog posts she reads. But I feel better for sharing it!
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