Friday, January 27, 2012

Elaborating on the pics I posted

I'm sorry I didn't write anything to go with those pictures, but time is limited.  Karina is having a sleepover at her grandma's tonight so I have a few moments to update.  Basically, catching Elena awake and not crying is tough, but today was a good day.  She was awake a fair amount and didn't cry all day, plus she even let me change her diaper without screaming!  It was wonderful. 

Karina is getting used to her, and if Elena cries and we don't come fast enough she calls us.  She wants to help out, and yesterday she even asked to hold her.  Of course yesterday was a day where Elena literally didn't stop crying all day.  So that didn't really happen, but at least she did want to.  That was the first time she had asked to hold her.  She loves her, but I think she's also annoyed by her.  She doesn't have my attention like she used to, and Elena is a very demanding baby, unlike Karina (although I sure thought she was at the time; what did I know!). 

As for me, I'm doing well, getting all healed up and can drive on Monday (yay!).  The emotional part is slower, though.  I feel very sentimental and frustrated that I can't devote myself completely to both girls, especially Karina.  I miss her, and the time we had together just the two of us.  I know intellectually that it will be okay in the end, and that it will all work out, but right now, the hormones are raging and I'm pretty sensitive anyway.  I look at Elena and think of when Karina was a baby.  Plus, Elena really looks like Karina did when she was a baby.  She's changed so much in three years, but Elena looks just like she used to.  I'm even having a hard time putting some of Karina's old clothes on Elena, simply because they were Karina's, and that's where the memory is.  Some of the clothes are fine, but some, I just think, oh, Karina wore that!  I know it probably seems silly to other people.  I guess it's just part of the adjustment period.  Elena needs more footy sleeper things though, because I had all these newborn ones that supposedly fit up to 10 pounds or 12 pounds or so, but they don't fit her.  She's outgrown them all already, and she only has a few 0-3 things, which is really weird.  I think a lot of stuff got stained and had to be gotten rid of (see, before Elena was born, I was able to go through Karina's old clothes and actually discard some things that were too worn or stained to be reused.  So what the heck, I can throw stuff away, but I can't put it on my baby?  Weird.)

Well anyway, that's how things are going right now.  Elena is having a fussy night again.  They aren't every single night anymore but she still cries an awful lot.  I'm really sure that part of it is gas, but the rest of it, I don't know.  I'll be glad to get back to the pediatrician on Monday and ask him about it.  We had to put Karina on Nutramigen (a formula that is more broken down and easily digestible--I hated that stuff and I won't go into details but diaper changes on that formula weren't pretty--we eventually ended up on Gentlease, and that seemed to work perfectly for Karina), and I am wondering what he will tell us, if we have to switch formulas or if she's just fussy.  She swallows air like crazy when she's eating, too, which Karina never did.  I just replaced all my bottles so I don't want to try different ones unless I have to.  That would be royally crappy.  We are using Playtex Vent Aire Advanced, which are supposed to eliminate a lot of the air, and they worked great for Karina.  In fact, they worked so well you could hardly get her to burp.  Elena, good grief, if you don't burp her like every five seconds she starts crying.  Poor thing.  And it takes work to get her to burp, too!  This girl is going to give us a run for our money, that is one thing for sure.

She is very sweet though, despite the crying, and I'm excited to see how she'll grow and change.  It's hard to believe she's already almost 2 weeks old. 

Okay, about the pictures:  The first one is the one I took where I realized how much she looked like Karina as a baby.  I don't need to post a picture of baby Karina, because it would look just like that one.

The fifth one, with Karina, you have to look at Elena's toes.  See the pinky action?  Karina did the same thing when she was a baby.  We don't know where they get that from.  Neither of the girls' feet or hands look anything like either of ours.

The rest of them, I think she just looks cute, and in one she's even kind of smiling (which she does do!).

Elena pics











Thursday, January 26, 2012

I know you want pictures...

Seriously though, I can't make my husband upload them any faster than his procrastinating self will do it.  He tried, but his card is high capacity and won't work with my card readers.  And frankly, I'm too tired to push it.  Elena is a sweet little thing but she screams bloody murder whenever she's hungry, which is constantly.  And she's gassy and fussy and that makes her cry more.  She cried most of the day today.  Poor Karina.  She is having to be so patient, and is making me beyond proud of her.  Every time we sit down to do something together, literally, Elena wakes up and starts crying and has to be fed.  And people, she is eating FORMULA.  I say this because it's supposed to keep them full longer, but this kid is eating 2-3 ounces anywhere from every 2 or 3 hours, to as frequently as 45 minutes later!  She eats like I don't know what! 

On Friday, she weighed 8lbs 10oz at the pediatrician's office. Monday she was 9lbs5oz!  That's crazy!  So my point was supposed to be that I am tired.  Bill is tired.  Karina is also tired.  Apparently the only one in this family who isn't tired is Elena!  :-)

But really, we are enjoying her and love her dearly and I will share pictures, I promise, I just never have time to edit them, it's not that I don't have them.  Soon, my patient blog friends!  I promise!  I will make time.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Time is my enemy

Ever since I was a kid, I have hated the passage of time.  Really, I was like Peter Pan, I never wanted to grow up, I even prayed one time that, no matter what I said later in life, when I got to Heaven I wanted to be 8 years old.  When I was a teenager, I held onto 16 as long as I could, because like the song says, "changes come around real soon, make us women and men" and I did not want to grow up. 

Now, here I am, almost 36 years old, and my new baby is already a week old.  My beautiful Karina is three, and at the end of the year, before Elena turns one, she'll be four.  It's blowing my mind, and I hate it!  Right now, I feel like there isn't enough time for either of them.  I keep thinking, I don't hold Elena enough.  I'm not paying enough attention to Karina.  Karina feels neglected.  I'm not bonding with Elena. 

My mom assures me this is normal and to expect to live with this torment for the rest of eternity.  She said she still feels this way.  My one consolation is that, as a daughter myself, having a sibling, I never felt neglected, left out, or unloved.  I credit my mom of course.  So I keep telling myself if I try to just do my best, they will both feel loved and cared for and important.  I hope it's true. 

But I'm missing my one on one time with Karina, and I want more one on one time with Elena and I can't have it both ways.  It is a terrible feeling.  I always wanted two children, I felt in my heart that it was right.  I wanted Karina to have a sibling so that in the future, when things start happening to me and Bill (you know, the inevitable), she will not have to go through it alone, because she would have her sibling. 

If you read this blog much, you probably know I'm close with my brother.  He is one of the main reasons I really wanted two kids.  I know that when my mom is gone, I'll still have him, and I know he'll be by my side, as I'll be by his, when these things do happen.  I want that for Karina, and Elena. 

So that's my wish for them, just to grow up loving each other and caring for each other and to remain close as adults.  I figured the best gift I could give them was each other.

But oh, how it hurts me some! 

Friday, January 20, 2012

Lousy day!

Ugh, so far we've been making things work with new baby Elena.  She is sweet and cute and cuddly and snuggly and cries and screams like a banshee when she's hungry.  Usually, this happens in the middle of the night, and goes on for literally hours.  As in, she starts around Karina's bedtime and goes until roughly 4am.  This girl can EAT.  She sleeps a lot during the day, which is normal for babies to have their days and nights flipped.  She eats during the day some, but it's mainly at night.  For about 3 or 4 hours in the night she will eat literally every hour.  And not just eat a little, she's eating 2-3 ounces at a time. 

Today we had to get her bilirubin levels checked and go back to the pediatrician.  We were running late, because I lost track of time and Karina slept til 9am!  Bill of course also slept because he's staying up so late so I can get some rest.  So we were running late, we had to go to the lab at the hospital for the bilirubin check, and that took forever--a total runaround.  We were just there 2 days ago, and they wanted Bill to register again!  Seriously?  We didn't move in 2 days with a newborn people.   Anyway, we got to the doctor, and Elena was fussing and hungry and upset from being pricked again, but the diaper bag was in the car, so we scooted over to the doctor, where I was going to feed her.  Except I realized I had nothing to feed her.  NOTHING.  NOTHING, people!!!  I was in tears!  I couldn't believe I was such a horrible mom that I had left my little baby's food at home!  Bill went out and asked if they had any of those little nursette bottles--you know the little 2 ounce ones they give you in the hospital--and thankfully they did.  She inhaled it.  Our doctor came in--I think he is just the greatest--and we were telling him all about the lab fiasco and how she eats crazy at night and cries, etc.  He was so great, and when I told him I had left her food at home, first he thought I meant Karina and offered graham crackers, but I told him, no, my BABY'S food, and he said they had those little bottles, which we already had.  He is so nice.  I didn't feel worse for telling him, but it was so embarrassing.  So he checked her out, thought her jaundice looked better, and said she was perfectly healthy.  He told us that some babies do something called cluster feeding, where they'll basically wait and then gorge themselves.  Apparently that's what Elena is doing.  I'm so glad to know that nothing is wrong with her.  Dr. kept patting my shoulder and telling me it was okay. 

Oh, forgot to mention that I also left my phone at home, as did Bill.  And I was supposed to meet my friend at the doctor's so she could bring me registration paperwork for Karina's preschool next year, and also a Miche bag that my friend gave me (more on that later!), and so I had to try to remember her phone number and that was a mess working that all out.  It was just a terrible day.  So Kelly shows up after our appointment and gives me the stuff.  We were talking--she has two boys, and her youngest is Karina's age.  So she's been there not so long ago.  She was reassuring me, and there I'm crying again.  I was telling her about how nice Dr. was and I said something about how bad I looked.  I never go anywhere in sweats ever, ever, but I did today--track pants (the only comfy pants I own right now) and a tee shirt with a sweatshirt unzipped over it--and I didn't even put any makeup on.  I looked like royal crap, let me tell you.  Kelly said, "Yeah.  You look a little rough".  I think Dr. took pity on me!

What a day.  Ugh. 

But at least we know Elena is all right, she's not sick and other than still being a little jaundiced (we get to do this all over again on Monday, woo-hoo), she's all right.  Thank goodness. 

I am so grateful to have such a caring and compassionate pediatrician for my daughters. 

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Guess who's here?

Elena finally arrived!  She was early, thank goodness, because she weighed 9.07pounds and was 20.5 inches.  She was born at 7:20pm on Sunday the 15th. 

My water actually broke at 5am, which was the strangest sensation I've ever had in my life, but then it still took her over 12 hours to arrive.  Still, that's half as long as Karina!

She is beautiful and sweet, but she is a little piggy eater and screams at the top of her lungs as soon as she's hungry!  Karina is getting used to her, a little unsure but tells me she loves her sister.  She wants to help do things for her, sometimes, but most of the time she's kind of ignoring her.  It will take a little time.




Here are just a few pictures for you.  Yes, she's a little jaundiced right now, but we're getting that all taken care of.  Karina was too when she was little. 

I might not be on here quite as much since we're still working out our new routines, but I'll try to update when I can. 

Please enjoy the BEAUTIFUL new blog design by Jennie--see the button at the top of my sidebar.  I think she did a phenomenal job and I love my new design!  THANK YOU JENNIE!!!!!!!!!!

This was just to upload my new button, designed by Jennie--see the top button on my sidebar!  She designed the whole blog for me, isn't it gorgeous??  I love it!

Friday, January 13, 2012

No baby yet

Just thought I'd quickly update everyone on my baby-having status.  She's still in there. 

I've been having some Braxton-Hicks contractions (that's false labor if you aren't familiar), but they aren't doing anything.  I had an appointment Thursday and I'm still only 1cm, which is what I've been for about 3 weeks or so.  So no change there.  I also have been experiencing some "nesting" which is another way of saying a little burst of energy, so I'm not feeling nearly as fatigued as I was before, which is nice.  Still pretty uncomfortable (which is an understatement).  She's pretty heavy and my muscles are sick and tired of holding her up, even with the super-powerful support belt! 

My mom guessed today, Friday the 13th, as baby's arrival date, but unless something happens really fast, it doesn't look like she'll be right.  Maybe this weekend, but I doubt it at this point.  Karina was 6 days late, so it's pretty likely Elena will be late as well.

Hope you're all well!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Cute things

Karina has been saying some really cute things lately.


One day, when I asked her to come do something she said, "Not now Mommy.  I'm in the middle of something."

Yesterday, she put on some play eyeshadow, looked in the mirror and said, "Oh!  I look stunning!"

Tonight, when my brother's girlfriend was leaving our house, Karina seemed to want to tell her one more thing before she left.  So Erin came back in, Karina gave her a hug and said, "Um, I love you."  Totally unprompted, and she's never even said that to my brother, who lives with us!

She told me that she has two baby cars in her tummy, Finn McMissile and Holley, and when she eats her chicken nuggets, they open their mouths and eat the nuggets. 

Tonight she told me that Finn McMissile snores.  He snores through his car nose.  He snores through his car nostrils, which are under his mouth.

And you should hear her try to say the words, "Chicago", "Tiana" (as in the Disney Princess), and "Japan".  Chicago sounded like something I can't even begin to sound spell here.  She mispronounces Ariel and Aurora's names, too but Tiana comes out like "Tiwana".  And Japan (because in Cars 2 they go to Japan) sounds like "Topan".  Her cars frequently go on their boats on a trip to Topan.  :-)

I try to write this all down so I'll never forget it.  How do you keep track of your kids' cute sayings?

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Unfortunate grammar mistake

Today I was driving home from the grocery store and I saw a car with words on the back windshield.  I see them a lot, either advertising for a company, or some random phrase or sometimes "in memory of" someone.  This one was different.

And before I share it, I have changed the university name (obviously) and blanked out the actual date.  Also, I am not knocking the parents' pride or the fact that their daughter may well be one of the first in their family to graduate; maybe she worked her way through--I'm not making fun of that aspect AT ALL. 

Well, let me just show you what I mean.  I'll show you what it actually said and then explain afterwards why this is funny but unfortunate(although you probably won't need me to).

Proud parents whose daughter "graduated" with a "degree" from Blank University
May ##, ####


Yes.  That is exactly how it was written (but with numbers and a real university name).  Sigh.  They are going around proclaiming to the entire city that their daughter pretended to graduate with a fake degree. 

Quick grammar lesson:  if you want to highlight a word or words, please don't use quotation marks.  They change the meaning to the opposite; they indicate sarcasm.  Use anything else, but please--I beg you--not quotation marks.  Thank you.

Friday, January 6, 2012

My gigantic, enormous 38 week belly

Yes, that is me.  And the baby belly.  And yes, it is huge.  People keep asking if there's only one baby in there (there is ONLY one baby!).  Hopefully little Elena (new spelling, I'm so glad!  Hubby finally decided!) will make an appearance fairly soon, maybe next weekend.  That would be quite convenient for my mom if nothing else as she's got a half day at work on Friday and is off Monday!

And yes.  Our tree is still up.  But I'm sure you can see why, what with this giant stomach in the way it's hard to do stuff!  We are hoping to get to it this weekend. 

Otherwise, my last appointment went fine, no change, just waiting around.  Trying to stay comfortable and not cry 24/7!  The hormones are doing me in!

Karina has been enjoying all her Christmas and birthday presents and gave herself a pedicure.

This is great nailpolish, too.  We discovered it peels off when dry and comes off in the tub!  She has really turned into a girly girl. I can't believe I'm going to have two of them soon.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Long day; 3 year old well checkup

What a long, long day this was!  Karina started asking about preschool last week, as soon as she got over her little Christmas illness.  She was so excited to go back today!  I know she missed her little friends.  While she was there, I went to Babies R Us and picked up a few things I still needed or wanted for Eleina, like this

Fisher Price sleeper/seat thing that the lady behind me in line told me I will just love and which i had wanted before anyway, and a new monitor.  We still use Karina's so we needed another one.  Also picked up a few odds and ends.  Then I went over to the consignment shop and got Karina some new red pants because she apparently wants to wear red pants every day. 

When I went to pick her up, I was running a bit late, which is not normal for me, but apparently since the baby has dropped a little over the holidays, it takes me a lot longer to get in and out of the car and stores than it did.  Hm.  Plus I'm slow walking because my leg is killing me.  Eleina has been sitting on my left leg and nerves this entire time.  First it was the sciatica-esque pain, now it's a tendon and my knee.  Sheesh!  Anyway, I arranged for my friend to be backup for me on Thursday in case I'm running a few minutes late from my doctor's appointment, and then made sure she was on my "it's okay for this person to pick up my kid" list.  Karina had a lot to tell me about preschool, as usual.  She didn't like how cold it was outside and how windy.  Then in the car she pretty much refused to eat her lunch.  I kept telling her she had a doctor's appointment and we weren't going home. 

We had a coupon for her to use at Toys R Us because we signed up for the little birthday club they have.  She chose a doll clothes set that will fit both her Cinderella toddler doll and another doll that was given to her by Bill's friend.  We looked all around the store, and that was what she wanted.  That was perfect. 

Oh.  On the way into the store, it was windy, really really windy.  It is finally cold here, in the thirties today.  So as we walked along the sidewalk slowly, because of me, I was holding her hand and she was holding her Lambkin.  Suddenly, this gust came along and literally ripped Lambkin out of her hands!  He tumbled a foot or two along the sidewalk as we both moved as quickly as a 9-months pregnant woman and a three year old can, and we caught him, no problem.  But she was so traumatized!  She burst into tears, and I had to pick her up to calm her down.  I got her into the store and she settled down.  I ended up pretending to have Lambkin tell me that he thought it was very funny how he flew in the air and that he was laughing about it.  That actually seemed to really help her. 

On the way back to the car with her doll clothes, she stumbled and fell on her knee.  More crying.  I knew she was hungry and tired but she wouldn't eat.  Next we went in Target and got drinks (she just likes water, but I got one of their tiny sodas--I love that they have that small size so I don't feel too guilty about it).  I walked through the baby section to make sure there wasn't anything else I needed, and then we got one of those mini boxes of goldfish crackers and left.  She ate the whole box!  I was afraid she'd be cranky at the doctor, but she wasn't.  But she was tired, snuggling me on the couch in the waiting room. 

This was her first "big kid" appointment, so she had to do some things we've never done before, like the urine specimen (she did awesome!), height, weight, and blood pressure (she did awesome) and getting her finger pricked (again, awesome--way better than her mom who hyperventilates at those things).  She didn't even cry or blink or anything.  She was so brave and I was so proud of her!  Then we went in and saw her doctor, who I think is just fantastic and always talks to her, not just to me.  He said she is doing great.  She's exactly in the 50th percentile, bloodwork is good, everything is good.  She is 30 pounds and 36 inches, exactly for both.  We couldn't have planned that!

Then she had to get a flu shot.  Ugh.  She did cry for that, but mostly because her hair got stuck in the band aid.  She got to pick out a little bracelet and got some princess stickers, too.  I went on and on about how proud I was and how brave she was.  In the car on the way home she fell asleep!  So I brought everything in and then put her in our bed and she slept til almost 530.  Long, long day.  For both of us!

She told me in the car, "The wind keeps blowing my hair in my face.  (dramatic pause)  I'm tired of it." 

As for baby Eleina, still no signs of imminent arrival, but even our pediatrician said it looked like it wouldn't be long now.  I hope he's right.  I'm tired and uncomfortable and ready to hold a baby.