I am happy to report that Elena seems to be improving with the reflux. The Zantac and Nutramigen seem to be helping. We've even had some smiles! I am so happy, and so relieved. My 36th birthday was on Thursday, and that was the first day she smiled. She is still crying quite a bit, but it's not all the time, and not all of it is the frantic, horrible, make you want to scream along with her and pull out all your hair kind of crying. It's normal crying. Or she'll just kind of whine-cry. She also makes this very sad, pathetic frowny face sometimes. When she smiles she is so cute! It's so great to see that aspect of her finally. I could totally hug Dr. B if it wasn't completely inappropriate. :-)
We're going to continue hoping for more improvement and on Monday I'll be calling the pediatrician's office to just leave an update and let him know how she's progressing; if she doesn't improve more, he might want to add or adjust something, I don't know. I would like to see even less reflux going on (she still has it of course, and it is still painful and makes her cry, it's just better right now), and therefore less crying.
The one bad thing I've seen is that after she eats, and I put her in the carrier, she always goes to sleep. This is bad because we want her awake during the day. So we have to fix that little issue, but really, to have that baby happier and not always crying is so wonderful!
What a relief!
Hopefully soon I'll be able to upload and edit some photos for you but right now it's really hectic around here still and when I'm home I'm usually being pulled in about 4 directions, despite having only two children, ha ha!
Have a good weekend!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Update
I haven't posted much lately because this baby is making it very difficult to get any time to do anything. She cries nonstop. And when I say nonstop, I mean, if she isn't sleeping, eating, or....right. If she's not eating or sleeping she's crying. Literally. We get maybe 30 minutes a day of awake, non-crying baby. She is miserable. We went to the pediatrician yesterday for her one month checkup, and I told him how she is behaving. While we were there, she had a little hissy, crying, flailing, arching her back like she does, not taking the bottle even though she's hungry. She'll act hungry but when you put the bottle in her mouth she shakes her head like she can't find it. So Dr. B just stood and had me try to feed her and watched her. He asked some other questions, like does she eat often? Does she have a pattern to her crying? Is she spitting up a lot?
Finally, after he watched her for a few minutes, he had me put her down and he checked her out. Then he told me that he thinks she has reflux. He said it looks like she is a yo-yo spitter-upper, meaning she has reflux and swallows it back down instead of spitting it out, which means ouchy coming up, and ouchy going back down. He said these babies are completely miserable, which Elena definitely is (and as a result, so is her mother). He said she's eating so often because it feels good going down, but of course then it just makes it come up more. She's arching her back because she's hurting, crying because she's hurting (of course), and making little "urp" noises because she's swallowing it.
Dr. B is always great, and he could tell how frustrated and tired I am. He told me his youngest son was the same way and he completely understood my feelings of not liking her and being so frustrated that she's crying so much and I can't fix it, etc. He told me he wanted to send his youngest back and if he'd had enough packing peanuts he would have! It was so good to hear my doctor really understanding me.
He left for a few minutes and came back with step one. First, we changed her formula again, to Nutramigen. The second thing Dr. B did was prescribe baby Zantac. She takes it twice a day and it's supposed to work quickly. She has to be kept vertical for at least 20 minutes after she eats, which is often. He told me that they used a soft-structured carrier of a particular brand and it saved them, because baby could be kept vertical easily. I have two kinds of slings, but Elena hates them, so I went out and bought a carrier today that I'll try out tomorrow. I'm going to buy and try and return until I find one she'll tolerate, because I simply cannot carry her around vertically all day and get anything done. It takes two hands to hold her up that way, and that means I cannot do anything. A carrier would at least allow me to get some things done (not everything because you can't bend over, so laundry is hard to do, cleaning up the floor is hard, but at least I can play with Karina, do dishes, and eat my lunch.
So far, she's had 3 doses of the Zantac and been on the Nutramigen since yesterday afternoon. So far, nothing has changed. I was hoping for some faster results, especially since he said we should see the Zantac working right away. We're going to see how things go through the weekend, and if we don't see some real improvement, we'll call and see what the next step is.
Today was terrible, she pretty much cried all day. I was at my mom's for dinner, with my aunt and brother who were there to celebrate my birthday a day early, and between Mom, Nana, and Aunt Betty, they pretty much took care of her. But I still heard her crying, and towards the end of the evening I was trying to calm her. I cried all the way home, because listening to her cry so long, knowing it's because she hurts, and on top of that the irritating part of it, is just too much sometimes. I know we'll eventually get it under control, or she'll just outgrow it, but sooner would be much, much better. For both of us.
Finally, after he watched her for a few minutes, he had me put her down and he checked her out. Then he told me that he thinks she has reflux. He said it looks like she is a yo-yo spitter-upper, meaning she has reflux and swallows it back down instead of spitting it out, which means ouchy coming up, and ouchy going back down. He said these babies are completely miserable, which Elena definitely is (and as a result, so is her mother). He said she's eating so often because it feels good going down, but of course then it just makes it come up more. She's arching her back because she's hurting, crying because she's hurting (of course), and making little "urp" noises because she's swallowing it.
Dr. B is always great, and he could tell how frustrated and tired I am. He told me his youngest son was the same way and he completely understood my feelings of not liking her and being so frustrated that she's crying so much and I can't fix it, etc. He told me he wanted to send his youngest back and if he'd had enough packing peanuts he would have! It was so good to hear my doctor really understanding me.
He left for a few minutes and came back with step one. First, we changed her formula again, to Nutramigen. The second thing Dr. B did was prescribe baby Zantac. She takes it twice a day and it's supposed to work quickly. She has to be kept vertical for at least 20 minutes after she eats, which is often. He told me that they used a soft-structured carrier of a particular brand and it saved them, because baby could be kept vertical easily. I have two kinds of slings, but Elena hates them, so I went out and bought a carrier today that I'll try out tomorrow. I'm going to buy and try and return until I find one she'll tolerate, because I simply cannot carry her around vertically all day and get anything done. It takes two hands to hold her up that way, and that means I cannot do anything. A carrier would at least allow me to get some things done (not everything because you can't bend over, so laundry is hard to do, cleaning up the floor is hard, but at least I can play with Karina, do dishes, and eat my lunch.
So far, she's had 3 doses of the Zantac and been on the Nutramigen since yesterday afternoon. So far, nothing has changed. I was hoping for some faster results, especially since he said we should see the Zantac working right away. We're going to see how things go through the weekend, and if we don't see some real improvement, we'll call and see what the next step is.
Today was terrible, she pretty much cried all day. I was at my mom's for dinner, with my aunt and brother who were there to celebrate my birthday a day early, and between Mom, Nana, and Aunt Betty, they pretty much took care of her. But I still heard her crying, and towards the end of the evening I was trying to calm her. I cried all the way home, because listening to her cry so long, knowing it's because she hurts, and on top of that the irritating part of it, is just too much sometimes. I know we'll eventually get it under control, or she'll just outgrow it, but sooner would be much, much better. For both of us.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
It's been crazy around here. We all got colds, including the baby. She is still fighting it, full of congestion and coughing like crazy. I took her to the doctor, don't worry. He said she sounds fine, her lungs are clear, and as long as she's eating and not running a fever she's all right. We go back for her one month appointment soon anyway.
We are trying to get sleep. Bill has been staying up super late with Elena so I can get some sleep, but Karina continues to call me during the night. I had to put a stop to it last night. She woke me at 130, then Bill brought Elena to me at 330 (told you he's staying up late). She was up til just after four eating and getting a diaper change. Then she woke up at 5 coughing to the point of spitting up all over herself so I had to change her. Then at 630 she was hungry and at 730 I had to get up to take Karina to preschool. How I'm functioning now, I have no idea.
Other than that, all's well. I went to a youth group meeting on Sunday and it was so great to be out of the house, just me, and talk to grown ups and see those kids again. I have missed them! And the best part was they all seemed happy to see me back again. What a great feeling. We started planning for Celebration of Life. I can't believe that's almost here again! (For those who may be new or don't remember, that's the huge meal the youth group prepares for the retired/senior folks in my congregation to thank them for their fantastic support all year. It's a huge production with food and entertainment). I'm not sure how Kelly and I will do the shopping this year with 3 or 4 kids in tow! I think last time we only had her youngest and Karina, and we went to BJ's so they could both fit in one cart. The year before, it was the same kids and I put Karina in a sling and she put her little one in the cart. If her oldest is in school when we go, that'll be great. I think if I put Elena in a sling it should work out. Otherwise...how many carts does it take to shop with four kids? (6 years old, two 3 year olds, and an infant in a carseat...yeah)
Check out the tiny toe!
We are trying to get sleep. Bill has been staying up super late with Elena so I can get some sleep, but Karina continues to call me during the night. I had to put a stop to it last night. She woke me at 130, then Bill brought Elena to me at 330 (told you he's staying up late). She was up til just after four eating and getting a diaper change. Then she woke up at 5 coughing to the point of spitting up all over herself so I had to change her. Then at 630 she was hungry and at 730 I had to get up to take Karina to preschool. How I'm functioning now, I have no idea.
Other than that, all's well. I went to a youth group meeting on Sunday and it was so great to be out of the house, just me, and talk to grown ups and see those kids again. I have missed them! And the best part was they all seemed happy to see me back again. What a great feeling. We started planning for Celebration of Life. I can't believe that's almost here again! (For those who may be new or don't remember, that's the huge meal the youth group prepares for the retired/senior folks in my congregation to thank them for their fantastic support all year. It's a huge production with food and entertainment). I'm not sure how Kelly and I will do the shopping this year with 3 or 4 kids in tow! I think last time we only had her youngest and Karina, and we went to BJ's so they could both fit in one cart. The year before, it was the same kids and I put Karina in a sling and she put her little one in the cart. If her oldest is in school when we go, that'll be great. I think if I put Elena in a sling it should work out. Otherwise...how many carts does it take to shop with four kids? (6 years old, two 3 year olds, and an infant in a carseat...yeah)
Thursday, February 2, 2012
A funny thing and then I start rambling
The other day, Karina was asking me to do something, I forgot what. She asked me to do it, and said, "If you would be so kind".
How funny is that girl?
Wish I could say Elena has calmed down with the hysterics, but not yet. In fact, she's starting earlier in the evenings now so I can enjoy it, too! Before, it was mostly Bill who got to listen to her. I just keep remembering all the advice I've gotten, and I know this too shall pass. I did take her to Target with me today while Karina was at preschool, and that went well, except for the pouring down rain when we were leaving.
One big bummer is that my fabulous, awesome, Britax carseat I won ages ago for her is so big and heavy (safe, too) I am having a hard time maneuvering it in and out of the car and carrying it. I am seriously thinking of switching back to my Graco from when Karina was a baby (it's not too old). It's lighter and smaller, and it would mean easier for me to use, carry, and move, plus I could put her behind my seat in the car where I wanted her anyway, and put Karina behind the passenger seat, where I wanted her. Right now, they are opposite because Elena's carseat won't fit behind my seat. I just have a Corolla. No minivan for me (but I have been eyeing some of the crossovers, not that we're getting a new car; we aren't). Ramble ramble, anyway, I'm debating. Part of me wants to go back to the Graco for the reasons I mentioned, but the other part is thinking, as sure as I do that, I'll be in an accident and something terrible will happen to Elena because she won't be in the safer carseat and I'll never forgive myself. So I probably won't switch. Plus, Bill doesn't want to switch them because it means reinstalling the carseats again, and he doesn't want to do that!
I haven't done Elena's announcements or even printed any photos for anyone yet. I feel so behind! I expected it, but still, it's annoying not to have things done when I'd like them to be done. At least I can pick things up off the floor again now! I'm getting better quite nicely and feeling really good. In fact, I feel mostly normal, other than still having a little tummy (but it's gradually getting smaller). I even bought a pair of pants today on sale at Target in my old size and while they're tight, they aren't uncomfortable and most importantly they went onto my body! :-) (I won't tell you that they were stretchy)
Overall things are getting closer to normal around here. Still some rough patches, but I know in time those will all work out too. I just wish I knew what was making Elena cry so much; from what I've read she's too young to have colic, but she sure acts like that's what it is. My uncle had it. Nana tells me all the time how he'd cry from 5-7pm every night for two months. Elena kind of does that, but not always at the same time. So I don't know. I'll just be glad when she outgrows whatever it is.
Now, look, can you believe this little cutie could drive anyone crazy with her hysterics at night? :-)
By the way, Britax didn't pay me or sponsor me or give me anything to say the stuff I said about their carseats and how, in my opinion, they're really safe, and neither did Graco. I just said stuff that's my own opinion. I like both my carseats, just for different reasons.
How funny is that girl?
Wish I could say Elena has calmed down with the hysterics, but not yet. In fact, she's starting earlier in the evenings now so I can enjoy it, too! Before, it was mostly Bill who got to listen to her. I just keep remembering all the advice I've gotten, and I know this too shall pass. I did take her to Target with me today while Karina was at preschool, and that went well, except for the pouring down rain when we were leaving.
One big bummer is that my fabulous, awesome, Britax carseat I won ages ago for her is so big and heavy (safe, too) I am having a hard time maneuvering it in and out of the car and carrying it. I am seriously thinking of switching back to my Graco from when Karina was a baby (it's not too old). It's lighter and smaller, and it would mean easier for me to use, carry, and move, plus I could put her behind my seat in the car where I wanted her anyway, and put Karina behind the passenger seat, where I wanted her. Right now, they are opposite because Elena's carseat won't fit behind my seat. I just have a Corolla. No minivan for me (but I have been eyeing some of the crossovers, not that we're getting a new car; we aren't). Ramble ramble, anyway, I'm debating. Part of me wants to go back to the Graco for the reasons I mentioned, but the other part is thinking, as sure as I do that, I'll be in an accident and something terrible will happen to Elena because she won't be in the safer carseat and I'll never forgive myself. So I probably won't switch. Plus, Bill doesn't want to switch them because it means reinstalling the carseats again, and he doesn't want to do that!
I haven't done Elena's announcements or even printed any photos for anyone yet. I feel so behind! I expected it, but still, it's annoying not to have things done when I'd like them to be done. At least I can pick things up off the floor again now! I'm getting better quite nicely and feeling really good. In fact, I feel mostly normal, other than still having a little tummy (but it's gradually getting smaller). I even bought a pair of pants today on sale at Target in my old size and while they're tight, they aren't uncomfortable and most importantly they went onto my body! :-) (I won't tell you that they were stretchy)
Overall things are getting closer to normal around here. Still some rough patches, but I know in time those will all work out too. I just wish I knew what was making Elena cry so much; from what I've read she's too young to have colic, but she sure acts like that's what it is. My uncle had it. Nana tells me all the time how he'd cry from 5-7pm every night for two months. Elena kind of does that, but not always at the same time. So I don't know. I'll just be glad when she outgrows whatever it is.
Now, look, can you believe this little cutie could drive anyone crazy with her hysterics at night? :-)
By the way, Britax didn't pay me or sponsor me or give me anything to say the stuff I said about their carseats and how, in my opinion, they're really safe, and neither did Graco. I just said stuff that's my own opinion. I like both my carseats, just for different reasons.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Elaborating on the pics I posted
I'm sorry I didn't write anything to go with those pictures, but time is limited. Karina is having a sleepover at her grandma's tonight so I have a few moments to update. Basically, catching Elena awake and not crying is tough, but today was a good day. She was awake a fair amount and didn't cry all day, plus she even let me change her diaper without screaming! It was wonderful.
Karina is getting used to her, and if Elena cries and we don't come fast enough she calls us. She wants to help out, and yesterday she even asked to hold her. Of course yesterday was a day where Elena literally didn't stop crying all day. So that didn't really happen, but at least she did want to. That was the first time she had asked to hold her. She loves her, but I think she's also annoyed by her. She doesn't have my attention like she used to, and Elena is a very demanding baby, unlike Karina (although I sure thought she was at the time; what did I know!).
As for me, I'm doing well, getting all healed up and can drive on Monday (yay!). The emotional part is slower, though. I feel very sentimental and frustrated that I can't devote myself completely to both girls, especially Karina. I miss her, and the time we had together just the two of us. I know intellectually that it will be okay in the end, and that it will all work out, but right now, the hormones are raging and I'm pretty sensitive anyway. I look at Elena and think of when Karina was a baby. Plus, Elena really looks like Karina did when she was a baby. She's changed so much in three years, but Elena looks just like she used to. I'm even having a hard time putting some of Karina's old clothes on Elena, simply because they were Karina's, and that's where the memory is. Some of the clothes are fine, but some, I just think, oh, Karina wore that! I know it probably seems silly to other people. I guess it's just part of the adjustment period. Elena needs more footy sleeper things though, because I had all these newborn ones that supposedly fit up to 10 pounds or 12 pounds or so, but they don't fit her. She's outgrown them all already, and she only has a few 0-3 things, which is really weird. I think a lot of stuff got stained and had to be gotten rid of (see, before Elena was born, I was able to go through Karina's old clothes and actually discard some things that were too worn or stained to be reused. So what the heck, I can throw stuff away, but I can't put it on my baby? Weird.)
Well anyway, that's how things are going right now. Elena is having a fussy night again. They aren't every single night anymore but she still cries an awful lot. I'm really sure that part of it is gas, but the rest of it, I don't know. I'll be glad to get back to the pediatrician on Monday and ask him about it. We had to put Karina on Nutramigen (a formula that is more broken down and easily digestible--I hated that stuff and I won't go into details but diaper changes on that formula weren't pretty--we eventually ended up on Gentlease, and that seemed to work perfectly for Karina), and I am wondering what he will tell us, if we have to switch formulas or if she's just fussy. She swallows air like crazy when she's eating, too, which Karina never did. I just replaced all my bottles so I don't want to try different ones unless I have to. That would be royally crappy. We are using Playtex Vent Aire Advanced, which are supposed to eliminate a lot of the air, and they worked great for Karina. In fact, they worked so well you could hardly get her to burp. Elena, good grief, if you don't burp her like every five seconds she starts crying. Poor thing. And it takes work to get her to burp, too! This girl is going to give us a run for our money, that is one thing for sure.
She is very sweet though, despite the crying, and I'm excited to see how she'll grow and change. It's hard to believe she's already almost 2 weeks old.
Okay, about the pictures: The first one is the one I took where I realized how much she looked like Karina as a baby. I don't need to post a picture of baby Karina, because it would look just like that one.
The fifth one, with Karina, you have to look at Elena's toes. See the pinky action? Karina did the same thing when she was a baby. We don't know where they get that from. Neither of the girls' feet or hands look anything like either of ours.
The rest of them, I think she just looks cute, and in one she's even kind of smiling (which she does do!).
Karina is getting used to her, and if Elena cries and we don't come fast enough she calls us. She wants to help out, and yesterday she even asked to hold her. Of course yesterday was a day where Elena literally didn't stop crying all day. So that didn't really happen, but at least she did want to. That was the first time she had asked to hold her. She loves her, but I think she's also annoyed by her. She doesn't have my attention like she used to, and Elena is a very demanding baby, unlike Karina (although I sure thought she was at the time; what did I know!).
As for me, I'm doing well, getting all healed up and can drive on Monday (yay!). The emotional part is slower, though. I feel very sentimental and frustrated that I can't devote myself completely to both girls, especially Karina. I miss her, and the time we had together just the two of us. I know intellectually that it will be okay in the end, and that it will all work out, but right now, the hormones are raging and I'm pretty sensitive anyway. I look at Elena and think of when Karina was a baby. Plus, Elena really looks like Karina did when she was a baby. She's changed so much in three years, but Elena looks just like she used to. I'm even having a hard time putting some of Karina's old clothes on Elena, simply because they were Karina's, and that's where the memory is. Some of the clothes are fine, but some, I just think, oh, Karina wore that! I know it probably seems silly to other people. I guess it's just part of the adjustment period. Elena needs more footy sleeper things though, because I had all these newborn ones that supposedly fit up to 10 pounds or 12 pounds or so, but they don't fit her. She's outgrown them all already, and she only has a few 0-3 things, which is really weird. I think a lot of stuff got stained and had to be gotten rid of (see, before Elena was born, I was able to go through Karina's old clothes and actually discard some things that were too worn or stained to be reused. So what the heck, I can throw stuff away, but I can't put it on my baby? Weird.)
Well anyway, that's how things are going right now. Elena is having a fussy night again. They aren't every single night anymore but she still cries an awful lot. I'm really sure that part of it is gas, but the rest of it, I don't know. I'll be glad to get back to the pediatrician on Monday and ask him about it. We had to put Karina on Nutramigen (a formula that is more broken down and easily digestible--I hated that stuff and I won't go into details but diaper changes on that formula weren't pretty--we eventually ended up on Gentlease, and that seemed to work perfectly for Karina), and I am wondering what he will tell us, if we have to switch formulas or if she's just fussy. She swallows air like crazy when she's eating, too, which Karina never did. I just replaced all my bottles so I don't want to try different ones unless I have to. That would be royally crappy. We are using Playtex Vent Aire Advanced, which are supposed to eliminate a lot of the air, and they worked great for Karina. In fact, they worked so well you could hardly get her to burp. Elena, good grief, if you don't burp her like every five seconds she starts crying. Poor thing. And it takes work to get her to burp, too! This girl is going to give us a run for our money, that is one thing for sure.
She is very sweet though, despite the crying, and I'm excited to see how she'll grow and change. It's hard to believe she's already almost 2 weeks old.
Okay, about the pictures: The first one is the one I took where I realized how much she looked like Karina as a baby. I don't need to post a picture of baby Karina, because it would look just like that one.
The fifth one, with Karina, you have to look at Elena's toes. See the pinky action? Karina did the same thing when she was a baby. We don't know where they get that from. Neither of the girls' feet or hands look anything like either of ours.
The rest of them, I think she just looks cute, and in one she's even kind of smiling (which she does do!).
Thursday, January 26, 2012
I know you want pictures...
Seriously though, I can't make my husband upload them any faster than his procrastinating self will do it. He tried, but his card is high capacity and won't work with my card readers. And frankly, I'm too tired to push it. Elena is a sweet little thing but she screams bloody murder whenever she's hungry, which is constantly. And she's gassy and fussy and that makes her cry more. She cried most of the day today. Poor Karina. She is having to be so patient, and is making me beyond proud of her. Every time we sit down to do something together, literally, Elena wakes up and starts crying and has to be fed. And people, she is eating FORMULA. I say this because it's supposed to keep them full longer, but this kid is eating 2-3 ounces anywhere from every 2 or 3 hours, to as frequently as 45 minutes later! She eats like I don't know what!
On Friday, she weighed 8lbs 10oz at the pediatrician's office. Monday she was 9lbs5oz! That's crazy! So my point was supposed to be that I am tired. Bill is tired. Karina is also tired. Apparently the only one in this family who isn't tired is Elena! :-)
But really, we are enjoying her and love her dearly and I will share pictures, I promise, I just never have time to edit them, it's not that I don't have them. Soon, my patient blog friends! I promise! I will make time.
On Friday, she weighed 8lbs 10oz at the pediatrician's office. Monday she was 9lbs5oz! That's crazy! So my point was supposed to be that I am tired. Bill is tired. Karina is also tired. Apparently the only one in this family who isn't tired is Elena! :-)
But really, we are enjoying her and love her dearly and I will share pictures, I promise, I just never have time to edit them, it's not that I don't have them. Soon, my patient blog friends! I promise! I will make time.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Time is my enemy
Ever since I was a kid, I have hated the passage of time. Really, I was like Peter Pan, I never wanted to grow up, I even prayed one time that, no matter what I said later in life, when I got to Heaven I wanted to be 8 years old. When I was a teenager, I held onto 16 as long as I could, because like the song says, "changes come around real soon, make us women and men" and I did not want to grow up.
Now, here I am, almost 36 years old, and my new baby is already a week old. My beautiful Karina is three, and at the end of the year, before Elena turns one, she'll be four. It's blowing my mind, and I hate it! Right now, I feel like there isn't enough time for either of them. I keep thinking, I don't hold Elena enough. I'm not paying enough attention to Karina. Karina feels neglected. I'm not bonding with Elena.
My mom assures me this is normal and to expect to live with this torment for the rest of eternity. She said she still feels this way. My one consolation is that, as a daughter myself, having a sibling, I never felt neglected, left out, or unloved. I credit my mom of course. So I keep telling myself if I try to just do my best, they will both feel loved and cared for and important. I hope it's true.
But I'm missing my one on one time with Karina, and I want more one on one time with Elena and I can't have it both ways. It is a terrible feeling. I always wanted two children, I felt in my heart that it was right. I wanted Karina to have a sibling so that in the future, when things start happening to me and Bill (you know, the inevitable), she will not have to go through it alone, because she would have her sibling.
If you read this blog much, you probably know I'm close with my brother. He is one of the main reasons I really wanted two kids. I know that when my mom is gone, I'll still have him, and I know he'll be by my side, as I'll be by his, when these things do happen. I want that for Karina, and Elena.
So that's my wish for them, just to grow up loving each other and caring for each other and to remain close as adults. I figured the best gift I could give them was each other.
But oh, how it hurts me some!
Now, here I am, almost 36 years old, and my new baby is already a week old. My beautiful Karina is three, and at the end of the year, before Elena turns one, she'll be four. It's blowing my mind, and I hate it! Right now, I feel like there isn't enough time for either of them. I keep thinking, I don't hold Elena enough. I'm not paying enough attention to Karina. Karina feels neglected. I'm not bonding with Elena.
My mom assures me this is normal and to expect to live with this torment for the rest of eternity. She said she still feels this way. My one consolation is that, as a daughter myself, having a sibling, I never felt neglected, left out, or unloved. I credit my mom of course. So I keep telling myself if I try to just do my best, they will both feel loved and cared for and important. I hope it's true.
But I'm missing my one on one time with Karina, and I want more one on one time with Elena and I can't have it both ways. It is a terrible feeling. I always wanted two children, I felt in my heart that it was right. I wanted Karina to have a sibling so that in the future, when things start happening to me and Bill (you know, the inevitable), she will not have to go through it alone, because she would have her sibling.
If you read this blog much, you probably know I'm close with my brother. He is one of the main reasons I really wanted two kids. I know that when my mom is gone, I'll still have him, and I know he'll be by my side, as I'll be by his, when these things do happen. I want that for Karina, and Elena.
So that's my wish for them, just to grow up loving each other and caring for each other and to remain close as adults. I figured the best gift I could give them was each other.
But oh, how it hurts me some!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Lousy day!
Ugh, so far we've been making things work with new baby Elena. She is sweet and cute and cuddly and snuggly and cries and screams like a banshee when she's hungry. Usually, this happens in the middle of the night, and goes on for literally hours. As in, she starts around Karina's bedtime and goes until roughly 4am. This girl can EAT. She sleeps a lot during the day, which is normal for babies to have their days and nights flipped. She eats during the day some, but it's mainly at night. For about 3 or 4 hours in the night she will eat literally every hour. And not just eat a little, she's eating 2-3 ounces at a time.
Today we had to get her bilirubin levels checked and go back to the pediatrician. We were running late, because I lost track of time and Karina slept til 9am! Bill of course also slept because he's staying up so late so I can get some rest. So we were running late, we had to go to the lab at the hospital for the bilirubin check, and that took forever--a total runaround. We were just there 2 days ago, and they wanted Bill to register again! Seriously? We didn't move in 2 days with a newborn people. Anyway, we got to the doctor, and Elena was fussing and hungry and upset from being pricked again, but the diaper bag was in the car, so we scooted over to the doctor, where I was going to feed her. Except I realized I had nothing to feed her. NOTHING. NOTHING, people!!! I was in tears! I couldn't believe I was such a horrible mom that I had left my little baby's food at home! Bill went out and asked if they had any of those little nursette bottles--you know the little 2 ounce ones they give you in the hospital--and thankfully they did. She inhaled it. Our doctor came in--I think he is just the greatest--and we were telling him all about the lab fiasco and how she eats crazy at night and cries, etc. He was so great, and when I told him I had left her food at home, first he thought I meant Karina and offered graham crackers, but I told him, no, my BABY'S food, and he said they had those little bottles, which we already had. He is so nice. I didn't feel worse for telling him, but it was so embarrassing. So he checked her out, thought her jaundice looked better, and said she was perfectly healthy. He told us that some babies do something called cluster feeding, where they'll basically wait and then gorge themselves. Apparently that's what Elena is doing. I'm so glad to know that nothing is wrong with her. Dr. kept patting my shoulder and telling me it was okay.
Oh, forgot to mention that I also left my phone at home, as did Bill. And I was supposed to meet my friend at the doctor's so she could bring me registration paperwork for Karina's preschool next year, and also a Miche bag that my friend gave me (more on that later!), and so I had to try to remember her phone number and that was a mess working that all out. It was just a terrible day. So Kelly shows up after our appointment and gives me the stuff. We were talking--she has two boys, and her youngest is Karina's age. So she's been there not so long ago. She was reassuring me, and there I'm crying again. I was telling her about how nice Dr. was and I said something about how bad I looked. I never go anywhere in sweats ever, ever, but I did today--track pants (the only comfy pants I own right now) and a tee shirt with a sweatshirt unzipped over it--and I didn't even put any makeup on. I looked like royal crap, let me tell you. Kelly said, "Yeah. You look a little rough". I think Dr. took pity on me!
What a day. Ugh.
But at least we know Elena is all right, she's not sick and other than still being a little jaundiced (we get to do this all over again on Monday, woo-hoo), she's all right. Thank goodness.
I am so grateful to have such a caring and compassionate pediatrician for my daughters.
Today we had to get her bilirubin levels checked and go back to the pediatrician. We were running late, because I lost track of time and Karina slept til 9am! Bill of course also slept because he's staying up so late so I can get some rest. So we were running late, we had to go to the lab at the hospital for the bilirubin check, and that took forever--a total runaround. We were just there 2 days ago, and they wanted Bill to register again! Seriously? We didn't move in 2 days with a newborn people. Anyway, we got to the doctor, and Elena was fussing and hungry and upset from being pricked again, but the diaper bag was in the car, so we scooted over to the doctor, where I was going to feed her. Except I realized I had nothing to feed her. NOTHING. NOTHING, people!!! I was in tears! I couldn't believe I was such a horrible mom that I had left my little baby's food at home! Bill went out and asked if they had any of those little nursette bottles--you know the little 2 ounce ones they give you in the hospital--and thankfully they did. She inhaled it. Our doctor came in--I think he is just the greatest--and we were telling him all about the lab fiasco and how she eats crazy at night and cries, etc. He was so great, and when I told him I had left her food at home, first he thought I meant Karina and offered graham crackers, but I told him, no, my BABY'S food, and he said they had those little bottles, which we already had. He is so nice. I didn't feel worse for telling him, but it was so embarrassing. So he checked her out, thought her jaundice looked better, and said she was perfectly healthy. He told us that some babies do something called cluster feeding, where they'll basically wait and then gorge themselves. Apparently that's what Elena is doing. I'm so glad to know that nothing is wrong with her. Dr. kept patting my shoulder and telling me it was okay.
Oh, forgot to mention that I also left my phone at home, as did Bill. And I was supposed to meet my friend at the doctor's so she could bring me registration paperwork for Karina's preschool next year, and also a Miche bag that my friend gave me (more on that later!), and so I had to try to remember her phone number and that was a mess working that all out. It was just a terrible day. So Kelly shows up after our appointment and gives me the stuff. We were talking--she has two boys, and her youngest is Karina's age. So she's been there not so long ago. She was reassuring me, and there I'm crying again. I was telling her about how nice Dr. was and I said something about how bad I looked. I never go anywhere in sweats ever, ever, but I did today--track pants (the only comfy pants I own right now) and a tee shirt with a sweatshirt unzipped over it--and I didn't even put any makeup on. I looked like royal crap, let me tell you. Kelly said, "Yeah. You look a little rough". I think Dr. took pity on me!
What a day. Ugh.
But at least we know Elena is all right, she's not sick and other than still being a little jaundiced (we get to do this all over again on Monday, woo-hoo), she's all right. Thank goodness.
I am so grateful to have such a caring and compassionate pediatrician for my daughters.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Guess who's here?
Elena finally arrived! She was early, thank goodness, because she weighed 9.07pounds and was 20.5 inches. She was born at 7:20pm on Sunday the 15th.
My water actually broke at 5am, which was the strangest sensation I've ever had in my life, but then it still took her over 12 hours to arrive. Still, that's half as long as Karina!
She is beautiful and sweet, but she is a little piggy eater and screams at the top of her lungs as soon as she's hungry! Karina is getting used to her, a little unsure but tells me she loves her sister. She wants to help do things for her, sometimes, but most of the time she's kind of ignoring her. It will take a little time.
Here are just a few pictures for you. Yes, she's a little jaundiced right now, but we're getting that all taken care of. Karina was too when she was little.
I might not be on here quite as much since we're still working out our new routines, but I'll try to update when I can.
Please enjoy the BEAUTIFUL new blog design by Jennie--see the button at the top of my sidebar. I think she did a phenomenal job and I love my new design! THANK YOU JENNIE!!!!!!!!!!
My water actually broke at 5am, which was the strangest sensation I've ever had in my life, but then it still took her over 12 hours to arrive. Still, that's half as long as Karina!
She is beautiful and sweet, but she is a little piggy eater and screams at the top of her lungs as soon as she's hungry! Karina is getting used to her, a little unsure but tells me she loves her sister. She wants to help do things for her, sometimes, but most of the time she's kind of ignoring her. It will take a little time.
I might not be on here quite as much since we're still working out our new routines, but I'll try to update when I can.
Please enjoy the BEAUTIFUL new blog design by Jennie--see the button at the top of my sidebar. I think she did a phenomenal job and I love my new design! THANK YOU JENNIE!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, January 13, 2012
No baby yet
Just thought I'd quickly update everyone on my baby-having status. She's still in there.
I've been having some Braxton-Hicks contractions (that's false labor if you aren't familiar), but they aren't doing anything. I had an appointment Thursday and I'm still only 1cm, which is what I've been for about 3 weeks or so. So no change there. I also have been experiencing some "nesting" which is another way of saying a little burst of energy, so I'm not feeling nearly as fatigued as I was before, which is nice. Still pretty uncomfortable (which is an understatement). She's pretty heavy and my muscles are sick and tired of holding her up, even with the super-powerful support belt!
My mom guessed today, Friday the 13th, as baby's arrival date, but unless something happens really fast, it doesn't look like she'll be right. Maybe this weekend, but I doubt it at this point. Karina was 6 days late, so it's pretty likely Elena will be late as well.
Hope you're all well!
I've been having some Braxton-Hicks contractions (that's false labor if you aren't familiar), but they aren't doing anything. I had an appointment Thursday and I'm still only 1cm, which is what I've been for about 3 weeks or so. So no change there. I also have been experiencing some "nesting" which is another way of saying a little burst of energy, so I'm not feeling nearly as fatigued as I was before, which is nice. Still pretty uncomfortable (which is an understatement). She's pretty heavy and my muscles are sick and tired of holding her up, even with the super-powerful support belt!
My mom guessed today, Friday the 13th, as baby's arrival date, but unless something happens really fast, it doesn't look like she'll be right. Maybe this weekend, but I doubt it at this point. Karina was 6 days late, so it's pretty likely Elena will be late as well.
Hope you're all well!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Cute things
Karina has been saying some really cute things lately.
One day, when I asked her to come do something she said, "Not now Mommy. I'm in the middle of something."
Yesterday, she put on some play eyeshadow, looked in the mirror and said, "Oh! I look stunning!"
Tonight, when my brother's girlfriend was leaving our house, Karina seemed to want to tell her one more thing before she left. So Erin came back in, Karina gave her a hug and said, "Um, I love you." Totally unprompted, and she's never even said that to my brother, who lives with us!
She told me that she has two baby cars in her tummy, Finn McMissile and Holley, and when she eats her chicken nuggets, they open their mouths and eat the nuggets.
Tonight she told me that Finn McMissile snores. He snores through his car nose. He snores through his car nostrils, which are under his mouth.
And you should hear her try to say the words, "Chicago", "Tiana" (as in the Disney Princess), and "Japan". Chicago sounded like something I can't even begin to sound spell here. She mispronounces Ariel and Aurora's names, too but Tiana comes out like "Tiwana". And Japan (because in Cars 2 they go to Japan) sounds like "Topan". Her cars frequently go on their boats on a trip to Topan. :-)
I try to write this all down so I'll never forget it. How do you keep track of your kids' cute sayings?
One day, when I asked her to come do something she said, "Not now Mommy. I'm in the middle of something."
Yesterday, she put on some play eyeshadow, looked in the mirror and said, "Oh! I look stunning!"
Tonight, when my brother's girlfriend was leaving our house, Karina seemed to want to tell her one more thing before she left. So Erin came back in, Karina gave her a hug and said, "Um, I love you." Totally unprompted, and she's never even said that to my brother, who lives with us!
She told me that she has two baby cars in her tummy, Finn McMissile and Holley, and when she eats her chicken nuggets, they open their mouths and eat the nuggets.
Tonight she told me that Finn McMissile snores. He snores through his car nose. He snores through his car nostrils, which are under his mouth.
And you should hear her try to say the words, "Chicago", "Tiana" (as in the Disney Princess), and "Japan". Chicago sounded like something I can't even begin to sound spell here. She mispronounces Ariel and Aurora's names, too but Tiana comes out like "Tiwana". And Japan (because in Cars 2 they go to Japan) sounds like "Topan". Her cars frequently go on their boats on a trip to Topan. :-)
I try to write this all down so I'll never forget it. How do you keep track of your kids' cute sayings?
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Unfortunate grammar mistake
Today I was driving home from the grocery store and I saw a car with words on the back windshield. I see them a lot, either advertising for a company, or some random phrase or sometimes "in memory of" someone. This one was different.
And before I share it, I have changed the university name (obviously) and blanked out the actual date. Also, I am not knocking the parents' pride or the fact that their daughter may well be one of the first in their family to graduate; maybe she worked her way through--I'm not making fun of that aspect AT ALL.
Well, let me just show you what I mean. I'll show you what it actually said and then explain afterwards why this is funny but unfortunate(although you probably won't need me to).
Proud parents whose daughter "graduated" with a "degree" from Blank University
May ##, ####
Yes. That is exactly how it was written (but with numbers and a real university name). Sigh. They are going around proclaiming to the entire city that their daughter pretended to graduate with a fake degree.
Quick grammar lesson: if you want to highlight a word or words, please don't use quotation marks. They change the meaning to the opposite; they indicate sarcasm. Use anything else, but please--I beg you--not quotation marks. Thank you.
And before I share it, I have changed the university name (obviously) and blanked out the actual date. Also, I am not knocking the parents' pride or the fact that their daughter may well be one of the first in their family to graduate; maybe she worked her way through--I'm not making fun of that aspect AT ALL.
Well, let me just show you what I mean. I'll show you what it actually said and then explain afterwards why this is funny but unfortunate(although you probably won't need me to).
Proud parents whose daughter "graduated" with a "degree" from Blank University
May ##, ####
Yes. That is exactly how it was written (but with numbers and a real university name). Sigh. They are going around proclaiming to the entire city that their daughter pretended to graduate with a fake degree.
Quick grammar lesson: if you want to highlight a word or words, please don't use quotation marks. They change the meaning to the opposite; they indicate sarcasm. Use anything else, but please--I beg you--not quotation marks. Thank you.
Friday, January 6, 2012
My gigantic, enormous 38 week belly
Yes, that is me. And the baby belly. And yes, it is huge. People keep asking if there's only one baby in there (there is ONLY one baby!). Hopefully little Elena (new spelling, I'm so glad! Hubby finally decided!) will make an appearance fairly soon, maybe next weekend. That would be quite convenient for my mom if nothing else as she's got a half day at work on Friday and is off Monday!
And yes. Our tree is still up. But I'm sure you can see why, what with this giant stomach in the way it's hard to do stuff! We are hoping to get to it this weekend.
Otherwise, my last appointment went fine, no change, just waiting around. Trying to stay comfortable and not cry 24/7! The hormones are doing me in!
Karina has been enjoying all her Christmas and birthday presents and gave herself a pedicure.
This is great nailpolish, too. We discovered it peels off when dry and comes off in the tub! She has really turned into a girly girl. I can't believe I'm going to have two of them soon.
Otherwise, my last appointment went fine, no change, just waiting around. Trying to stay comfortable and not cry 24/7! The hormones are doing me in!
Karina has been enjoying all her Christmas and birthday presents and gave herself a pedicure.
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